Why Resisting the Urge to Drink Can Make It Stronger — And What to Do Instead

We’ve all been there: standing in front of the fridge, telling yourself don’t think about the wine, don’t think about the wine. And then, guess what? You can’t stop thinking about it.

Let me introduce you to your brain’s sneaky little program called the Ironic Process Effect. The more you try not to think about something, the more space it takes up in your head.

That’s why purely resisting the urge to drink often backfires. The mental energy you spend pushing it away only keeps it front and centre.

Why Dry January Often Fails

Short-term challenges like Dry January or Sober October can be great awareness builders—but they often feel like a month-long sumo wrestle with your own brain.

The focus stays on what you can’t have. Your smart brain gets frustrated, and suddenly it’s all you can think about.

By the time February rolls around, the craving feels even sharper, and somewhere deep inside, you’re so ready to get it over with and drink again.

The Switch: From Suppressing the Urge to Drink to Intention

Long-term mindful drinking or full sobriety isn’t about constant mental battles. It means making alcohol irrelevant, seeing it for what it really is.

Instead of asking:

How do I resist the urge to drink?

Ask:

Why don’t I need this anymore?

That’s where your WHY comes in.

Finding Your WHY

Your WHY is deeply personal. Emotional. Beautiful. It’s yours.

Think of it as:

• That secret wish you’ve never told anyone.

• The version of yourself you daydream about.

• The image of your best self in your best life.

Visualize it until it’s crystal clear. Until it stops being a vague hope and becomes a goal you can feel in your body. It needs to move you.

Why This Works

When your WHY feels right, you’re no longer clinging to willpower alone.

• The “urge” loses strength because your brain has a more compelling target.

• Sobriety stops feeling like abandoning something and starts feeling like gaining something.

• Cravings become temporary noise, then they’re gone.

Your Next Step

If you’re stuck in that exhausting cycle of “don’t think about it, don’t think about it,” maybe it’s time to change strategy.

Find your WHY. Make it vivid. Then watch how quickly the “urge” loses its shine.

A sober coach can help you discover your WHY and offer tips and tricks to navigate this journey more easily.

I’m a certified sober coach working with millennials for whom drinking alcohol isn’t sustainable anymore. If you’re one of them, I’m here for you.

Stay Sober. Stay Cool.

High Sobriety Club.